quasimodo

Somehow making it on time has never been my thing. Had a presentation today. At 9:30. Not too early you might say. Sure. I always manage to add excitement to my life, whether I want to or not.
It's the last day, so we have to present our projects. My project has been glamourized, sexed up and blown out of proportion - thanks to my prof's involvement. Expectations are high. Caffeine levels higher. Power point presentation - check. Rehearsed speech - check. Looking presentable - check. Artifical smile and enthusiam - check...

Partner asks me night before - "9:30... you'll be there on time right?" Look of anxiety mildly amusing, then intimidating. "Yeah, i'll be there". Smiles all around. Sip coffee, pull up jacket sleeve hoping for elusive warmth. doesn't help.
Go home. Plan my schedule. Re-plan - forgot to add p.t (procrastination time). Schedule ver.2.0 loses relevance 5 minutes after creation. Desire to free myself from hunger creeps in. Only bread and can of baked beans left in the fridge. Use imagination. Finish eating imaginary 4 course dinner and get back to work. Hmmm, need to make fog to lose my dog- how do i create vertex arrays and multitexturing? Thoughts interrupted by phone call. Total time spent on thinking about the problem- 30 seconds. 40 minutes after pointless philosophical discussion about the meaning of life, creation of the universe and how we all deserve better, sense of panic sets in... vertex arrays...hmmm.

it's 12. need to sleep. presentation tomorrow at 9:30... maybe i'll take one teeny weeny peek at this darn program... borland C++ is a bitch. 3 am. Stupidity deja vu. Need to disconnect internet connection. Set alarm for 7:30 and go to bed...

8:15am- Wake up with heart in my mouth. C'mon man, I've done this before, it can't be that bad right? Wrong. Run, run,run. Damn shower is cold. Rehearse lines in the shower. Wonder what questions the mock venture capitalists will ask. Think about meeting later on in the day. Think about half done graphics project due tomorrow. Think about kirsten dunst. Focus...
8:45am- brilliant. I think I'll make it on time today after all. Leave the house, thinking about kirsten du- i mean presentation.
8:55- reach bus stop. feeling slightly bored. probably coz everyone there was looking downright depressed. Eat banana.
9:00-Bus coming round the road. Feeling good. Oh wait, two buses to UBC heading down the road - wow this is a first time. Put hand into my pocket to pull out wallet which contains bus pass... absense of wallet causes anxiety attack.
9:00-9:05- Anger.Desperation.Frustration.Swearing.Laughing. Low self esteem. Fear of project partners.More swearing. (Running all the while back home).
9:05-9:10-Praying and having heated conversation with god.
9:10- God cuts some slack. Bus pulls up as I get to the stop. Ask him politely to make driver go fast.
9:25-Bus arrives. Takes 10 minutes to my building from bus loop. Run like a mad fellow.
9:33-Enter room. Presentable appearance slightly altered. Partners fidgety.
9:40-10:05-Talk. Beautifully executed. I am happy with myself. Team mates do a fine job as well. Questions handled deftly.
11:00- coffee, early lunch and discussions about life and plans for holidays...fantasize ski slopes... realise that berry flavoured coffee isn't as good as it's cracked up to be.
1:00-meeting with advisor. fidget. do not keep legs still. Questions asked. Answers vague. Request to work harder.
1:30-Graphics beckons, so I start. Park my ass with a wishful heart.
2:00-Annoyed. Chat with friend. msn is evil.
2:30-wonder why they make eggnog only during christmas... come up with brilliant plan to start making eggnog through the year and make my millions, BWAHAAHAHAHAHAHA. wait - incoming email...
2:50-Desire to nap. Decide not to.
3:53- Wake up with a start, and realise that I'm late for a class. Run.
5:00-Realise that I would've been better off sleeping in the lab instead of sleeping in class. Atleast the seats are comfortable.
6:00-Coffee break. Meet friends outside computer science. Refreshing change. Thoughts of quitting comp sci and becoming a writer creep in.
6:30-What is ray tracing again?
6:33-decide to give up on assignment and get extension. net surfing time.
7:00- friend comes to lab. says he is stressed out. doesn't have time to do anything. sick of pulling all nighters. expects sympathy. gets none.
7:30- screw this algorithm. im gonna get dinner.
7:33-finish cursing algorithms.
8:00- after extensive mail checking and chatting, decide to go home and continue. tomorrow i promise to work harder. wait. i'll make a schedule.

...and so you get the gist of my day. The day of a grad student is never ok.