vertigo - i don't care

there is this inexplicable joy, almost sadistic pleasure which I get when I watch my life spin helplessly out of control. Embracing care free abandon while standing on the threshold of responsility... and listening to radiohead. Tip toeing gingerly on the fine line that separates hope and its anti-thesis. At a point where u are capable of making change, yet firmly rooted in a state of inertia. Something pulls you back. Virtual gravity. Perhaps I don't want to fix things. Perhaps it is the excuse I'm creating to change the course of my life. Too many options leave the mind boggled. Shut a few doors and choice becomes easier. Perception is complex. Life is complex. The stage in a persons life when they say they don't care anymore... that state of existence is bliss. It is probably the closest you will ever get to freedom. It is when you are at most peace with yourself...