freeflowingrandomthoughtsgushingthroughmyhead

the question is not how but why? 'tis a difficult question. the answer might lead to enlightenment... or atleast an intellectual orgasm. life is unpredictable. there is chaos in order and order in chaos. we walk a thin line. you never know what is thrown up at the start of the day. i've always been a happy go lucky chap but sometimes responsibilty comes when u least expect it. the joys of responsibility.
i'm feeling quite sleepy right now. computational intelligence does that to you. frankly i don't see anything intelligent about computers. i could make fun of them all day and they wouldn't come up with one intelligent scheme to whup my ass. ofcourse, they have their share of fun with their cryptic error messages.
my friend is a guitarist. he used to play in a band back home before he bit the dust and came to the land of the so called brave and free. so i asked him if he is doing something for the republic day celebrations. apparently he is. now like all great rock stars he needs to have a signature right? for people to associate him with. Like axl rose and his stupid kilt. Like bono and his sun glasses. like madonna and her um, nakedness. Well, folks i'll tell you my friend's signature wear.i know you desperately want to know. tch. stop drooling. his signature wear is... half sleeve checked shirt and jeans...... what? you're not excited anymore? you're abusing me? hey! i don't even have a sister! fine i'll tell him to wear leather underwear and a mask.
that was a boring story. ever noticed how gum is really sweet and juicy when u first pop it in your mouth? then it gets all crappy and tastes like scum after half an hour? i think marriage is like that. or is it? which goes back to the question of not how but why?
i need a shave and a haircut. i'm starting to resemble a cave man. or worse. a terrorist. i am also suffering from severe writer's block. i think i shall end this torturous read and go observe the white wall in front of me. it shall be my inspiration.

and i don't think that they'd understand

i am only human.
i can only do so much.
i can dream.
i can hope.
i can wish... for a better tomorrow

i don't mean to hurt
i'm quite a simple person
i just wish the world would understand
i am only human

opera games

i just got back from the phantom of the opera... it was a pretty decent musical... except i wasn't quite happy with the way it ended. the phantom had dedicated his whole life to christine... he was totally in love with her and he made her the great singer that she was... he breathed christine... but then there was pretty boy - who noticed her only after she started singing. sure, they were childhood sweethearts and all that but he forgot about her and disappeared. he comes out of nowhere -a rich,handsome, prince like character...
the phantom had an ugly face... and was agressive. he killed for her - literally. but you can't really dislike him. why is love so unfair?

santa monica, habibi and rude street vendors

so I'm sitting on the plane which is firmly parked on the runway. Fog and rain apparently refuses to alleviate my misery. I'm a smart guy. I book my tickets in such a way that I'm stuck for 15 hours in SeaTac and have just 1 hour between San Fran and LA. Yes, bow down to me.

So anyway, plane eventually takes off - 30 minutes late. Race against time starts. Old lady maintains pace. Asks me interesting questions about Canada - are there airports in Canada? Do they have electricity in Canada? Do you live in an igloo? That sort of intelligent stuff.

So we eventually land. Time to sprint. San Fran airport is HUGE. I get off at gate 23. LA flight from gate 67. Run. Pant. Trip over carry bag. Embarass myself. Continue running and panting.
Reach gate 67. 10 minutes left for take off. Indian uncleji looks at passport.then me. then passport.then me.so on and so forth. a grunt from him occurs. indicating that im good to go. Not so fast. Strip search time. That also finished. Run. 5 minutes left before take off. Yay. Excited. Slavering anticipation. Think about street hockey for some reason. Get on plane.

Eventless flight to LA. awesome. Get down. wait for friends to pick me up. Make 6 phone calls in 10 minute gap trying to locate them in LAX (and you wonder why i got awesome cell phone bill?).

Finally locate friends. Joy. plenty of joy. worth the hassle of getting here i thought. Aarti and meghna hadn't changed at all. same ol' same ol'. Introduction to new friend. Name's Amit. Awesome guy. Perfect drink buddy to discuss music,women, and the universe. And so the 4 of us were united. for a few short days, life was to be happy, carefree and the fun side of america was to be exploited.

We get into the car and the 3 ex-VITians catch up on eachother's stories (or the lack thereof). First stop - santa monica. Santa Monica is like vancouver's granville island. Lotsa street performers, street vendors all over the place. Christmas eve lights. Fun stuff. So we wander aimlessly. I take in the scene. The palm trees. I wanted to see a coconut tree but I couldn't. Feelings of relaxation seep in.

I noticed some things about LA. In Vancouver, a street vendor will politely ask you if you'd like to buy something and if you politely decline, they will smile, wish you a good day... and curse you under their breath. In LA, there is no need for such formalities. Make the person feel cheap 10 metres away from your shop.
-"Hey you guys, aren't you going to atleast buy the ladies a rose on christmas eve?"
-" Uh. no"
-"Hmmm. whatever".

Yes. They make you feel like a million bucks. After walking round a bit more, we decided to go home... and eat yummy sambhar, rasam, and potato curry...with wine - joyous food. and so we stuff our faces (aarti and meghna had made it just for me, so a big thanks to them here!) and head off to habibi's.

Habibi is a hookah parlour where the iranian crowd of LA hangout. It's a UCLA hangout so people from USC are generally not welcome there. They actually have a sign saying "UCLA welcome, USC smc (suck my cock)" or something like that. Welcoming. The rivalry between UCLA and USC seems to be quite big in this city. They rape, plunder and drop manure on eachother's mascots. Stupid kids. Back to the story. Habibi... it was a fascinating place. I've never tried a hookah/shisha before. It was a bit of a challenge to start off with. Partly because our's wasn't working too well. I felt like a wus watching aarti blow copious amounts of tropical fruit flavoured smoke while I managed something weak and pathetic. But I wuldn't give up now would I? No. Ofcourse not. Bwahahahaaa. yes. I finally got it... like 15 minutes before we were about to leave. no, actually much before that, but time seems to come to a halt as we puffed away to glory. We ordered some sicko iranian dish. There were tonnes of gorgeous iranian women there. some shaking their booty. some sitting and watching. then there were some gay type guys. dancing in groups. while there were women just sitting there. so what was I doing you might ask. I was sitting. and puffing away. No, I didn't dance. why? I just didn't. Because im a wimp and I didn't feel like asking the iranian girls to dance... well that wasnt the only reason. I was with my friends there and its kind of rude running away asking random women to dance when you came with friends - that you are meeting after 2 years. So thats that. We left after a couple of hours. back home. I was too tired to go clubbing. SeaTac was still doing a number on me. Went home, and crashed. We were heading to San Diego and warm beaches the next day... what fun. It's snowing in vancouver right now by the way. Depressing.

"and I don't want the world to see me,
coz don't think that they'd understand.
when everything is made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am".

just felt like writing that... it's the story of my life. I'm reading catcher in the rye right now. creepy book. i can relate to it on so many levels.

Sleepless (and mindless) in Seattle

I've been away from blogland for the last couple of days - actually alot longer than that. That's coz I was busy going round west coast USA. It was an eventful time. lotsa fun, some boredom. sunshine and rain. so gather round children as I tell you my tale from cold, rainy vancouver to the warm beaches of sandiego to the starry eyed LCD madness of las vegas to cold, rainy los angeles. weird. life comes a full circle.

let me start by saying this... someone start a pledge to burn down the seattle international airport. it is a source of great pain for many an overnight passenger. us poor people who cannot afford to take a room in the city are forced to make do with the airport. my flight was to leave for san francisco at 11 the next day and here i was standing at the ticketing counter of the SeaTac (seattle tacoma) airport at 7:30 pm the previous day. So I enter, lug my bag round taking in the dismal view. Disgruntled holiday travellers looking cold and uncomfortable. A nasal voice playing in the background about how sorry they were about some random flight that was going to be delayed by an hour due to fog but wished us happy holidays anyway.

7:33 pm- feeling of apprehension. desire to run away as far as possible. plan to go into seattle.
7:40- put carry on luggage under lock and key and head out.
7:42- drag myself back in coz its raining and left umbrella inside bag.
7:50- finish grumbling about stupid seattle weather and wonder if i forgot something... apparently not.
7:50-8:15 - wait for bus to downtown seattle. rain heavy. wondering why i left vancouver. haul freezing ass back into airport.
8:25-hunger attack. search airport for food. realize there are more rest rooms than restaurants. depressed. look at airport map. see the word "taco bell". get excited. its past the gate in the waiting lounge area. my flight is only at 11 next day, can't do that. depressed. settle for starbucks.
8:35 - got robbed. 11 bucks or something for a tall coffee, slice of cherry pie and an artifical christmas greeting.
8:40- still hungry. look at watch for nth time.
8:44-cute girl smiles. i smile back. decide to be cool and play with cell phone. cell phone bill bites me in the ass 6 days later.
8:47-despertately hoping for company to talk to. for a holiday miracle. nothing happens. santa is
dead.
9:00- see time magazine in news stall. dubya is time person of the year.chuckle. wonder about the state of journalism. strangely go and buy time magazine. realise their marketing tactic. nod in veneration.
9:03-spot cute girl again. desire to go talk. fear of old man and more importantly young man next to her.
9:10-phone starts ringing. beyond happy. it shows missed call from friend in india. depressed.
9:12- muster courage to call friend and worry about cell phone bills later (bad move folks). call. talk. ask to call back.
9:15-9:35 - talk talk talk.
9:35 - boredom. cute girl gone.
9:35-10:35 - read time magazine. laugh. time makes dubya look good. wonder how much went out of republican fund to time. desire to drug myself to sleep.
10:45-3:00 am - toss, turn, wake up with start because of stupid announcement, scratch, ponder, think, wave arms in the air, realise how stupid i am for not bringing a book (well i wanted to travel light), pat handsome dogs sniffing my shoes, pat handsome dogs not sniffing my shoes, walk, buy expensive coffee again, yawn, drift away to sleep, repeat exercise.
3:00 - coffee in tummy gone bad i think. make a rush for one of SeaTac's million rest rooms. Happy they have so many restrooms.
3:30- 7:00am- repeat steps from 10:45 to 3:00 am.
7:00am- brush my teeth and freshen up beside dude who feels the need to clean his sinuses in sink next to me.
7:05- pukish.
7:15 -laughing at desi aunty straight out of kakinada.
7:20-bored. want to use the internet. ask around.
7:30- staff tell me seattle airport is a medieval airport. they believe in disowning technology and that the internet is for wimps. desire to sue SeaTac, starbucks and microsoft for good measure.
7:35-surf net on cell phone. blissfully unaware of roaming charges incurred on international roaming.
7:50-generally start clicking pictures on camera phone.
8:00-realise that i have another 3 hours to go. feel like crying.
8:05- deicde to check in and grab some "real food" in the waiting longe area. decide to stand in queue to get ticket. stupid holiday travellers.
8:10-waiting.
8:16-ok. get ticket.
8:20-apprehensive about security check. scary thoughts about singapore experience come to mind.
8:30- ordered to take shoes,jacket,sweater,coat,anything, everythnig off. empty pockets. disembowel myself. and put everything into container to pass through x-ray machine.
8:40-yay. enter lounge. look around for restaurants. see more rest rooms.
8:45- spot Taco Bell from a distance. *olympic distance running music play in background* approach. see quarter mile queue. disgruntled.
8:46 - pizza hut - ditto.
8:47-burger king - ditto. jesus christ. what is it with holiday travellers? do they get here this early just to eat?! spot lonely pretzel store in distance. approach cautiously.
8:48-yup its empty... coz they charge $5 for a pretzel and a tiny cup of cheese. joy.
8:50-still hungry. proceed towards my lounge. only 2 more hours now...

So waited impatiently, clicking photos and messaging somemore in blissfully ignorant abandon. the time had soon come to board. and so i went and sat and heaved a sigh of relief... till the old lady next to me started talking. but that's a different story. don't worry. my other trip tales were far far better than this :).

reality check

We fight and fight we do. War seems to be the name of our game.
Children die, corporations splurge - aren't we such a merry bunch of pricks?
Quest for greed, lust for success. Bottomline is all that its about.
It doesn't matter how you achieve, just get it done u stupid lout.

Like cancer it grows, terminal with distaste - the need for money and fame.
The media feeds on it, the people dream of it and we have only u and me to blame.
Can't you see its a great big hoax?
Can hapiness be bottled? I think not. Can it be bought? Are you on pot?

What about darfur? Yeah what about it? How much did u donate today?
I'm a stupid dick. I took my free 50 bucks and spent it on food that went to waste.
What about ethiopia? Yeah what about it? I have nothnig to do with that place. I have more important things on my mind - like figuring out black jack?!

Perhaps, I should worry about things closer to my heart... it shouldn't take a tsunami everytime to give the world a reality check.